Decisions

It's late over here and I'm not gonna put up a whole philosophical topic...my brain cannot handle it, but I was just thinking randomly about things when this image came into my mind and I had to find it on the Net... and that's how I started thiking over "decisions".



Our life's made up of decisions. Which way to go? Left or Right? I don't know... the question may sounds so hard and the answer may seem even harder, but you know... I was just sitting here looking at the empty space thinking bout how many stupid decisions I need to take in the next few weeks; well they may not be stupid, because some of them are connected with my future, my university's career or my private life, and, yeah, they may not be stupid... but maybe they're not as important as I think they are.
You probably think I'm going crazy! I may be, but I'm sure of what I'm saying and I can prove you I'm right...somehow!



"Decision: a choice or judgment that you make after a period of discussion or thought" that's what a decision is according to Longman Dictionary. That is right I suppose, but the point is... do we really need to take that time to make a decision? to make the right decision? I'm not sure! All we do is wondering, thinking, asking for others' opinion, looking for answers, torturing ourselves, killing ourselves...do we really have to do the all of this to take a decision? and that decision is really that important then?

I think that all you need to do is just... go with the flow! Nothing's that hard about that. If we take a decision by following our instinct it will be the decision we really feel, we really want to take, it will be the first one we feel to say "yes" to that comes into our mind. A snap decision can make the difference.
Right or wrong... that's up to us, it doesn't really matter and it's not something we can define when we're thinking about our decision: rights and wrongs come just afterwards, as consequences maybe, but eventually what is labelled as a consequence can be however good. It depends on how we decide to think of it. I personally think that whatever will be a consequence of my decision I won't regret it! I mean, it's my own decision and even if it'll come out to be a wrong one, it won't really matter because it is anyway what I was feeling to do! And have the freedom to decide and do whatever we like, it's the greatest thing we can all have, despite all of those social conventions and fears of being judged!

Talking bout me personally... I used to think waaaaaay to much, but once you learn to follow whatever comes to your heart and mind, everything starts to feel easier, no matterwhat comes next!
And in the last few days I got these funny feelings coming up, and for a moment I got a little bit hysteric... but then I told myself, "hey, don't panic!" and I raelised I needed to sit back, wait, and take my decisions by going with the flow... I'm sure it'll work out perfectly and I'll simply be happy with whatever may come, because whaetever may come will be however what I let into my way. Let's be happy with this all.

Feeling, not thinking... that's The Key!

Goodnight y'all!

Mary,
xXx

Outside... On The Balcony

That's not Romeo&Juliet!

It's just my flat's balcony and it was just me... and my roommate.
After dinner I had this moment... I was a little bit thoughtful and I was seeking some freedom. I opened the window and the air was smelling like spring, it was nice, not too cold, a nice breeze was blowing and the night's sky is always a nice view to enjoy.

This window leads on this balcony, which officially doesn't belong to what we pay for, lol, but you know... climbing over the window to get in this balcony it's easy and with spring here, it's quite hard to resist! So I simply climbed over the window and stepped outside.

That breeze touched my hair and the trees and flowers smell caressed my nose, the sky above was very dark, and the city lights were fireflies flying steady in front of me. I just needed to enjoy the moment, to enjoy this night and enjoy the silence, but someone was there: my roommate, Sabrina. She was inside, doing the dishes and she saw me... she couldn't help it but joining me!

I think she did the best thing ever! We spent some time just talking about what we could see, talking about relaxing, talking bout ourselves, about exploring things in life, talking bout the beautiful world we live in, things we have and things making us feel good.

A half hour talking about nothing and everything, just leaning on the balcony, just looking up, and down and around can make it all... we both felt chilled and fine, and closer than before as well.

The breeze was getting colder and we needed to go back inside... but we will do this all once again.. somehow I cant express the feeling you get from just observing a sleeping city and travelling with your mind........ But all I can say is that everyone should do it, at least once, to get that feeling of freedom and peace we all need!

Love,

Mary
xXx

"Jonny from Scotland"

Yesterday I had a more important blog to post, and little time to post other things... so I thought today I needed to get some things done... and for example had to write down this story.

I met a guy...a guy from Scotland...but let me take you back to the start! It all began few weeks ago...
First of all, on Mondays, when I'm at uni, having classes, I have a lunch break at 1, and me and my friends always go to the same place to buy something to eat and then we go somewhere finding a place to sit and then just eat, have a chat or whatever. Few weeks ago I was in this fast food shop and we were waiting to order a slice of pizza and this guy just came close to where we were to order some food as well.
I noticed he didn't look italian at all, but more like a British guy or whatever. Me and my dearest friend, Steph, both thought he probably was from the UK, and we observed him while he was standing there and ordering a pizza..and he did in a funny italian accent which made him sound lovely and veeeeeeeeery sweet and I was really like *_* "oh my god, he's sooo sweet."

The monday after I saw him again, and the one after again, and so on for a couple of weekd, and you know, everytime he was just in the street going to that fast food shop. I had never met him like face to face or side by side tho!

But then something happened...Yesterday we had an extra free hour for lunch cuz teacher was missing, so we went buying a present for another friend of mine and after that it was just 1pm, so we were like, "ok, lets wait for Chiara and Serena to meet us here and then we all get in getting some food".
My girls arrived and we got in the shop, bought things and then got out. We were on the sidewalk, ready to cross the street when I saw this guy again, coming up our way. So I was like "oh my god, I missed him today in the shop once again! He's so cute!" and my friends started pushing me, telling me like, "hey, just go and meet him, you're eyes are shiny! just go and find a way to hook him up!" and all of those things a group of girls would say!
I said I was not sure and all, I mean, I was divided in two: "go or not go? he's nice and I want to meet him-it's just strange to go and meet someone like that!"; these were the things crossing my mind, because of course it was pretty weird to just go to a guy and say, hey, how you doing? I'm Mary!
But eventually they really pushed me and so I got back in the shop, pretending I had to buy something else, and he was there!

I had my heart beating faster, I was getting a little bit shy and nervous! So I stood there, looking in his direction and then he came closer, trying to get in the cash line, so he could pay and go away, but I was very close to that one, so he thought I had to pay, but I was simply waiting (hihihi) and I looked at him from time to time and probably he felt that and looked back when I put my eyes down... I felt bit shy, and I really couldn't figure out what to do, for a moment I felt quite stupid and wished for my friends to be there to back me up, and I was about just ging out and give up about all! I mean, he was a stranger, a complete stranger! I saw him four times maybe while he was just walking in the street, so what was going on maybe had no sense at all, but eventually I thought "hey, here's a chance, who cares what's gonna happen? Say Yes and go!"...and surprise...we got side to side!
I was cold sweating *lol*
...somehow we looked into each other eyes and we both wanted to say something, like I wanted to tell him he could go first and he wanted to ask me if I had to pay... but we both couldn't speak, then we smiled, had a little giggle, out of nothing, and he told me something in Italian, but I couldn't really understand what he said, so I simply told him, "please, go" and then simply asked him "where you from?" and he replied he was from Scotland, I said "oh wow!", I think I looked pretty amazed and so I took my chance to ask him a couple of questions like his age and what he is doing here in Italy. He answered, smile, told me something bout my english and making comments 'bout his italian, he made a joke, I made a joke and said I could help him out with Italian if he helped me with my English, and all we did was giggling! Then before he left we introduced each other and his name's Jonny... when he shook my hand I felt something!

it was soooooooo weird!!!!

I mean, I've seen him maybe four times including yesterday? And I talked to him just yesterday for the first time for like 2 minutes.

Before leaving he said: "well, I guess I'll see you around soon, bye" ...and left!
My friends saw him going out the shop and I was still inside and one of them after 5 minutes came in to see if I was ok! lol They thought I fainted or smth! I got out the shop like all blushed, shy, but really like...wow! I was super excited and happy!

What I felt was just a funny feeling, nothing more, but it's always nice to meet someone. and it was even nicer to see how that happened! His grey-blue eyes were so nice, and he had a witty look.
Of course nothing's expected to happen and I'm sure nothing will happen! That's reality, that's real talk and this is not a movie.
The only thing I'm wondering is... will I ever see him again?

But the good thing of being so spontaneous and opened the way I am, is that I prefer to wait for a "the moment" to see what happens then and in the meantime all I can think is: no matter if I'll ever meet him again, he was a real short season in my life, on my path. And I won't forget however his eyes, his voice, the way he shook my hand. 5 minutes are nothing, but 5 minutes can make it all... or once again nothing!...and all that will be left will be this post named after him! ;)

Goodnight y'all

Love,

Mary
xXx

A "Yes Girl"

Here's one dedicated straight to someone I really care about, Steph.

Well, it's pretty hard to write a kind of open letter, even cuz this is not exactly and "open letter", it's just a something I want to say, something I want to share with my "twin sister"

A "Yes Girl"... I've been thinking about it... And thought that being a "yes person" can be one of the most precious things we can have and do.
But what does that mean? What's the mening of being a "yes girl"? I learned it means to say "Yes!" to whatever comes up our way, to every chance you get, without thinking too much, to take in, accept, welcome every little thing! You may get the chance to learn karate...just say Yes! and do it; you may find on your way a Chinese language course... just say Yes! and do it; you may have the chance to talk or help someone... just say Yes! and do it!
It does not mean to do things in a silly way, it doesn't mean to do dangerous things, it simply means to not be greedy, not being afraid, to be opened to whatever Life offers, and I know Life can give us alot, many gift and precious things, little things, each day!

So why wasting our time thinking about what to do or about what not to do? Let's go with the flow, let's live it now, let's live for the moment... It's never too late to start dealing with this "Yes system".
I learned and started few months ago, I had a kind of "trial period", and I realised that it was a good way to live life in a different way from what I used to do and it brought me to another level, to another way of enjoying life. Now I'm more chilled, I live better and I simply can smile and laugh twice more than before!!!

If you decided to start with some "yes", then it means you may get closer to this new lifestyle as well, who knows...? And I don't know if you are or not, but for sure, I think you're making a little step in this direction, even if you don't know it yet prbably! And if you are, then... well, I can assure you won't regret it. Let yourself go, let your haird down, do not think too much, don't think... just feel. Start feeling, and when you start feeling, every feeling will simple be the purest one you can touch with your heart, it'll feel spontaneous, new, honest. It'll come easy and you won't have to change your self being, because that's what you have already inside, just by applying a "yes style", you may simply find out it can shine more and more and be shown more and more to all of the others who still can't see that. And all you have to do is... "say yes!"

You won't regret things if you firmly believe that a yes won't hurt. Consequences... yeah, that's what we always think about, but you know what? Consequences will come both if you say no or yes, so what's the point in that? Why living by saying no, by not willing to live as brave, when eventually things may lead to two different, yes, but still maybe hard way? That's in the worst case I suppose... because at least then, if you say Yes!, you can say you enjoyed the ride and had a laugh! ;) I'm sure...

So... I'm not someone who can teach to someone else how to live, but I only try to speak through my expericence and through love and sensitivity, and sharing this pearl I found out myself, was something I felt to do after you told me you were starting off "accepting songs coming up on your MP3 player shuffle playing". This concept perfectly fits in here...accepting without getting hurt.

So what you waiting for?

I love you,

Cip
xXx


Ps. Sorry if I couldn't really express what I wanted to say... I hope you don't take anything wrong...!
Ps2. And then... I'm not the only one claiming that saying YES could bring to good and pleasant things... *whistles* hihihihihi

A Big Surprise

And today it was a very busy and long day... lotta working and studying! All day long actually...
I don't like Saturdays like this, but eventually I had a real nice moment, because I had a great surprise!

I was in my room, with some music on and I was just studying and getting cranky about some Arabic translation, when suddenly I heard a knock on my door; usually my dad does that before coming in and I simply didn't pay much attention, but then once again a knock on the door, so I simply stretched out my arm and lazily opened the door, and when I looked up... I saw there was a guy standing there: my friend, Alberto!

Alberto, who is like a big brother to me, has spent 10 months in Australia! He got finally back!!! Oh my God! I was totally surprised and I couldn't believe it! He was just there standing, leaning on the side of the door, with his sunglasses on, looking at me! The only thing I did was just looking at him for 5 seconds, then I opened my mouth and the only thing I said was "no, that's not possible!", then I closed again the door *lmao* and after 5 seconds I opened it again and looked at him like he was a ghost!

Oh my, I looked quiet stupid, *lol*, but that was funny!
Then my brain finally reacted and I stood up to hug him... and, guys, wow, such a refound and stronger hug! Me and him got closer and closer in the last year, altho he has been knowing me since I was maybe 6 or 7! He's my brother's friend and I grew up with him, but now we got closer and our hug was stronger than ever! We stayed in that hug for a minute or two and I got crying in his arms! It was raelly emotional and I was simply very happy to see him and see he was back and was there to say hello to me and my family! It was lovely!

I couldn't believe it and I couldn't even believe I got crying over the all situation.

Then of course he started telling 'bout his time there, his experiences, and he made see once again how important is just to travel and to throw yourself into situations: when he left he was sad (he had lost his job and had probs with a girl), very negative about everything and he just felt like he didn't know where to go or what to do, kind of lost and then he just put himself into the situation, trying to just see what it could bring. Well, he's totally changed! He sees things differently, he sees that after all that bad moment was just a moment which was not that bad and now he can say he's happy with everything and that he's raedy to face problems and everything else better. It's incredible how travelling can make you feel different, how just having a little bit of faith can help and give a new chance to everything.

I was very happy and he me feel even more how much I just wanna live and go away from here!

It's been a real nice moment... I must admit the weekend started off nicely... or better, I can say my weekend is not great but had some nice moments: yesterday I finally received those envelopes I was waiting for and that put a smile on my face for at least a full hour! And then just the idea of checking everything out for London... wow! I had a doubting moment and a moment of thinking "oh God, what shall we do?", but then I just thought like, "hey! I mean, we're leaving anyway, so who cares??? Let's just be happy and enjoy this mess coming from the setting-up-the-trip-moment and let's get ready to enjoy then the real vacation!", that gives me the ready mood and the right adrenaline to work things out!
Then of course today I got this nice surprise... so... yeah, nice!

And just wating for other things to come...few days ago a friend of mine, a cool friend of mine, Rohan, told me "the word News comes from North, East, West and South". Well, it's perfectly true!!! All you have to do is just stand on the top of the hill and wait for the wind to blow, bringing you that news and then just get ready to catch it!

Good things will always come our way, and we may appreciate them just after catching some bad things as well...

Have a good Saturday everyone,

Love,

Mary
xXx

Tickets to London? Yes, thanks..., Fender or Les Paul? I'll take a Gibson!

At times what looks like a bad day turns into a good, nice one!

It’s been a long one, for sure, but with the right people next to me it was easier and nicer. I had a good time eventually... We are a real nice group of people... shame that in the last two days Chris was not there, she’s sick and I really hope she’ll be fine again as soon as possible (get well soon, lovely girl!!!) .

Somehow it was a positive day! Me and my great friend, Steph, tried to work out and figure out what to do ‘bout our summer in London: it’s very hard for us to find a job over there from here, and we don’t feel like just leaving, get to The City and try to look for a job, we know it wouldn’t be that good and such of a great idea, but then, what shall we do? I got no idea really. But however, we’re still trying to make the right moves and try to find the best way to work everything out, eventually what we really want is just a good looooong vacation in London, but we can’t have it that long... so I suppose we’ll have to be happy with 10 days or so, which is not that bad! We’re a great team and last year in a week we totally turned London inside out and had lotta fun, so it won’t be that hard for us to do it again and I’m sure it’ll be even better because we know each other even better, we’re even closer, we love each other more and we’re simply on the same level on everything! So if last year was amazing, this year is gonna be on top! I’m soooooooooooo sure of that!!!!!!!!

So I simply can’t wait for that! And we’re doing our best to try to save some money over the flight so we can stay there as long as possible! So this afternoon we went to a travel agency to just “have a check” bout flights and so on before taking a look on the Net on our own, and we found some interesting things I believe...so.... yeah, I’m feeling more and more that we gonna go to London and I’m getting thrilled!!!!

Of course still a little bit thoughtful and all ‘bout having a job there which would make it easier and would be something extra to stay in England longer, but hey, I know we can be perfectly happy like this as well!!!

Martin & Lopez on a mission and we gonna achieve it successfully! Damn right!!!!! You can count on that!!! ;)

After that we even went to a guitars’ shop... oh my God! Gibson, Fenders, Les Paul... basses, acoustic guitars, electric guitar, there was anything in there and it was simply great to see all of that! Oh my, I could get lost in there... I loved it!!! We were amazed! Lovely, lovely!!!

Yeah... a real nice day that pictured me things to do and gave me a clearer view on certain things! And now just need to work everything out...happily!

...Nothing’s better than friends, once again! I’ll never get tired of saying, guys!!! Believe me! ;)

Love,
Mary
xXx

Confused... but hey, live it up!

Do you ever get the feeling of just being confused?I do…When you think that finally everything’s going the right way around you and around people you love, then here comes a big grey cloud… It’s something that happens “suddenly”, out of nothing, you can’t see it coming and you can’t control it, you may feel it, but you cannot help it: you gotta stand there and watch it, and just after you realised what it is ‘bout, then you can try to take action.

That’s life, I mean, it happens very often, and you wonder why… I guess it’s just a way to make us stronger and put us into challenge. Being competitive it’s a way to improve yourself, to push yourself to the limit, but the real point is: how much can you dare? How much you want to be pushed to the limit? That’s what makes the difference. That’s what makes you a winner or a loser, and by loser I simply mean someone who’s not willing to try hard enough to get what he want. Can you handle a challenge, a competition? Life’s all about that, even when you don’t know it. If something difficult is coming up your way, then don’t be scared, get ready, warm up and get on that fucking boxing ring and fight. We always need to fight to get what we want, to change a status, to change our life, our mood, our position, our condition, are you strong enough to do that? Are you tough enough to handle it? everyone can change things, but just a few are brave enough to do it, and I’m sure everyone of us wants to be among those few, because it may be a steep rise, but it’ll bring you to a sense of satisfaction and it’ll make you feel proud of yourself... All you have to do is try, why don’t you? Just for once, or twice, it’s just very important to try. Let your hair down and see what happens, the best thing is you won’t regret it.
Is this the right mood and the right way to face that big cloud coming up? I think so... or at least is one of the million ways you can possibly do that.


The real, I mean, my own real confused status comes when somehow we bring that cloud ourselves. When we want that cloud to be there cuz we need it. Everyone knows life is not easy, why shall we make it even harder? There’s no point in that I suppose, that’s what we should try to understand and learn and avoid. I get confused if I see that suddenly I’m seeking something that there’s no need to get desperate over, isn’t that my fault? Yes, it is. But what gets me even more confused is the fact that then at times I don’t even want to try to just move that cloud away. Altho I do believe that there can always be a fresh wind coming up my way to blow that cloud away and if we listen, or better, feel carefully, then we’ll find out there’s more than just some fresh air, much more that can help us take that cloud away and bring back the sun. Just feel then and just try to see the sunny side of life... that’s the best side, the side where you can have fun even when you don’t have all you want or need!

But hey, here comes a new day! It’s 7.55AM and that’s a new beginning and I’m sure we’re all willing to have a real good day, full of laughs and happiness... or at least with no bad things in it! So let’s work it out, let’s not be lazy and let’s not be sad... why shall we? C’mon! Let’s enjoy life!
Just put yourself in new situations, in what you don’t know, in what you know, alone, by yourself, with others, just try it, give it a shot, who cares eventually what’s gonna come out? If it’s good, then it’s perfectly fine, if it’s not, then okay, it was an experience!

Have a good y’all!

Love,
Mary
xXx