Unvoiced Day

Well, here I am... looks like the only way to express myself today is writing, I'm totally hoarse in fact.

I got no voice left and all I can do is whispering! I'm usually very talktive and I'm a kind of chatbox, I cant be just quiet for a second or a minute and you can all imagine how it's killing me now!

But it was just one more day to learn something....to learn I can't keep my mouth shout. ut even learned that at times just being still in silence can help thinking and mostly creating, it was a real creative day indeed!

I wrote alot, I took my time to think bout my "artistic projects" and just tried to enjoy the silence tho it was not easy.

I love communicating, and when I can't do that, I just get cranky and I feel something's missing in being in contacts with others, tho actually using body language can make it all and can improve the situation! Signs are more talktive than words at times!...

Sooo...maybe all I have to do is trying to imagine this experience is improving my sign language and improving my body language! I don't think tomorrow I'll get my voice back... so let's stick to the plan and let's just see it this way hoping it'll be a good purpose to go through the day!

Love,

Mary

Words warming up the Heart... My Heart

(this would be a waygreater tattoo compared to Hello Kitty one, lol)

We always try to look for something "far", for something we want to hear, and in our mind we almost "plan" about when we want to hear it. We all know what that is, and we really want it, but my question is... what we want to hear, is it really what we need to hear?

I don't think so! And that's what you find out when you get "unexpected" words, lines, conversations coming up your way.

Everyone of us has a precise idea of oneself, but does that meet up what others think of us? When it does, or when what others think is more than we expect, that's the moment when we should realise our real self has met reality AND/OR that someone can see right through us and can read the way we are in depth, in that part we may try to hide or to show cuz that makes us feel better.

It happened to me...

For a long time I've shown just a part of my true self, the part I thought was better tho show because of people around me or situations, then for another long time I've just kept running from myself and eventually, after a harsh climb I just got to a point where I learned to trust and accept the whole of my being and I've started showing, finally, my WHOLE self. It turned out to be that greatest thing ever and the thing making me feel at my best, I was not (and I'm not still) afraid of shining, or of showing what I'm feeling on a day or on another. Shining... that's what I learned. No matter who you are, no matter how you feel, how you look like, how you react, how you talk, which family you belong, which place you come from, everyone of us can shine and has the right to shine, and gotta shine with no fear! If we get into this habit, into this routine of smiling, which is actually the first step to a "shiner" us, then it will get easier and easier, nicer and nicer.
My experience taught me that its nor hard once you start it off with using a right key and even taught me that others perfectly feel and see that we have a light all around us and that our true self is coming out. They feel the change and they help us to see the change.

This all "intro" (lol sorry, I know I can be sooo boring with loooong speeches!!!) leads me to the point of this blog: when you're able to expose yourself, even for a little time, and maybe with just a person or two, then you can get the best ever when is unexpected and unexpected things are the best things ever.
Lately I've experienced some of the greatest moments and feelings of the last few years, moments and feelings which are sincere, real, true, with unconditional affection and unplanned paths to walk on.

Last night a friend of mine, THE friend of mine, who you all know now as Steph, warmed up my heart (like she's doing more and more often lately) with maybe one of the silliest (at least from an outer view) things ever.
Out of a game, a joke, she spoke the truth, and her truth hit me straight up in the face with something I couldn't expect. She said, somehow, that I can be able to bring "light and warmth in the most grey and cold lives".

Is that for real? Do I?! Such of a simple line shaking up everything in me and warming my heart up (little note: I'm not the only one who can then bring some light and warmth then, huh? ;) you know what I'm saying) opened up my eyes making me think that being myself, showing my sunny side is what shakes people, what helps (maybe) people, what people like bout me, way better than my dark side. Is it? Somehow I guess it is.
A good discovery for myself, but the best and warmest words coming from such an important person.

Pure happiness and positive feelings. That's all I want to let in my life right now and if what I'm getting, goes back to others, then it's even better because it means it has a great power and a good meaning and especially means that this people are close enough to see it, to see me all.

All of this blog may sound like an "ego trip", looks like I'm speaking about myself all the time, thats not the aim, what I'm saying is... once again thanks, thanks for all I'm finding out, thanks to Steph for being that close to me and thanks for being such an amazing "sister" walking side by side with me along this loooooooong path of life, which suddenly feels fun to run.
I never thought I could find this all.

Words, simple words, little actions, that what warms up days and lives. There' s no need to make a great deed to achieve a great result or to touch somebody's heart. It all lies within the less important (apparently) things. What we want can be blown up by a fresh wind and can be replaced by what our inner self, our heart or soul needs, without us even knowing it!

She caught me by surprise and she gave me a beautiful gift. She showed me I changed and learned something, for real.

But in return, I feel I want to give her something as well, she knows it already, cuz I alraedy told her, but I'll make it once again clear and official... a little truth: you can light up people's lives as well. Different ways, different methods, different light, but you do give light.
And even with just your smile you can make others smile, can make others love the wonderful one you are.
Moon & Sun... perfectly describing it once again.
So... all I'm telling you is...:

"Don't be afraid of shining and keep shining on" ...cuz you know you can! (I mean... you're doing it!!!)

...And let's take it off together to new adventures!!!

"Here comes The Sun... do do do do" ;)

Thanks for everything!

Love,

CipCharlie (hihihihihihihihihihi)

Meeting nice people...

And today, even if I spent my day just being in bed, I can say it was a positive day.



When you're ill looks like time goes slow and looks like you cannot do anything but lying there watching tv and its silly shows, but in such a technological area it's not really like that and so as long as you have a laptop with you then you can get in touch with everyone, work, study, making your own business, and thats simply lovely.

So today I was just checking around and checked my mail cuz I was waiting from an important mail from a Spanish guy who was willing to help me out with something I needed and I got that mail. He was simply nice and kind to me, and we got to talk about "this business" on MSN.
Sounded like we've known each other for years and he was chatting with me in a very nice and cool way and he helped me out sooooo kindly that I was very impressed that there are still such nice people around, especially such nice guys.... he did everything for me almost without wanting anything back, I insisted on paying him for this "business" he helped me out with, but he was simply lovely.

I was very surprised....in a positive way, and for all he did for me I simply have to thank him! Thanks Ferdinando, you made me happy and I'm sure you even helped me making happy someone else as well, even more than I expected I could do just by myself!
It was great...

And thats how you meet nice people in life... just by chance!
Maybe someone walking in the street, maybe on the net, maybe by looking for something you want, maybe by a glance... in any way! And that's beautiful!
And the most important thing is when these nice people we meet stay in our life, for a short season (a hour, a day) or for a long one (a year, all life long) making each of our day better and good, worth living!

And that's how a boring or a useless, or a normal (or a sick) day turns into a very usefull one, putting something positive on your way!

Thanks to all the wonderfull people lighting up my days, day by day, in every little way, by just being there for me or next to me, sharing a moment, or a whole season of life (you know who you are!)



Love you all,

xXx,
Mary

Back home and ill! - Part 2 (pix)

And here's some pictures from Monday and Tuesday!

As I said in the previous post ( http://dreamingmary-livingmylife.blogspot.com/2010/04/back-home-and-ill.html ) I had these two days off with my friends and we did alot of things! I want to share now some pictures as well!

Monday:

we had a nice lunch all together, we were at one of the girls' family house. Thats where pix were taken:

from left to right: Steph, me, Enza (a friend of Chiara who I met there), Chiara, Chris and Fede.

The whole group..... these are the lovely girls I spend about 8 or 9 hours a day with!

And us playing some guitar and singing along (sorry for my silly face! )

Err.... we were pretending a "group album cover photohoot" *lol* we have a pianist, a drummer, a guitarist, a front-girl (lol), two back-vocalists and a groupie! *lmao*

That's us on the beach....it was damn windy and damn cold and I think thats what caused me this bad cold!

I love taking pictures of sunsets... and here's one of them... clouds and sun make it all.... lovely!
(to Steph: doesn't it look a lil bit like "Yellow" beach??? say yes....!)

And Tuesday:

Thats me and my hip... errr, that tattoo is not true, thanking God! *lol* me and Steph were just fooling around and found that fake tattoo-thing for kids and decided to put it on... very sexy *lmao* ...thats what happens when girls get together and enjoy time! hihi ....and I dont even like Hello Kitty!

Me and Steph...some rocks, the sea, the sun going down...

And a lil piece of our lovely and blue sea... the water was veeeery cold, but it was beautiful and calm!

And here's another lovely sunset again..... it always catches me and makes me see how beautiful is the world we live in!

and thats it! Loads of pictures hihihi... I really had a great time!

Back home and ill!

So I had a real great time both on Monday and on Tuesday! My girls are great and we had the time of our life! We had a nice lunch, played some music with guitar, had a good time singing, we played silly stuff and aet chocolate and cakes and we even went down to the beach, tho it was very windy! But we had an ice cream and then got back home, where we played some other music with piano and of course there was our usual singing along! We're pretty good and I'm proud of what we do and how we do it!

Next week we gonna work seriously on some new material and me and Steph were thinking about doing a cover of a famous song as well...still looking for the right one!

On Tuesday I had some lovely time with my "twin", Steph and we just laughed soooo much! We enjoyed our time and we even went to the beach again and had real great moments just watching the, oh so lovely sea, and chatting in that "in-sister way of talking"; we went sleeping at 2:30am and...well this morning we had to get up at 5.45am! We did and the day was loooooooooooooong, but when you're with friends, it gets easier!
I was feeling kind of sick, tho, ill, and from some simple and silly sore throat it came out I had fever... high temperature! and here I am back at my parents' house then laying in bed, shaking from those silly shivers and feeling very tired!
But then I'm still sad tomorrow I'll be home and I won't be able to see my girls!

Another highlight of the day (up till now) is that I received an envelope from a far friend and it was a real surprise! I couldn't figure out what it could be, but when I opened it...........wooooooooooow!!!!! J.Lo's earrings!!!!! They look lovely and it's just what I was looking for! I'm very happy and it was a lovely surprise! I know it's an honest and heartfelt thing! She left me speechless and I really don't know how to thank her......thanks Elena!!!!

My sore throat is killing me and I really can't eat or drink at the moment, altho I'm very thirsty......... eeeew hate it!
Waiting for Steph to give me "something", thats what she says and she didn't explain anything more.... curious curious, and I bet once again it'll take my mind off this stupid cold/flu (whatever it is), cuz I'm sure it comes from heart! So can't wait to see!!!!
And then I'll go straight to bed!

Once again after these kind of "girls' weekend" I find out how much I care for my friend, Stephy and how much we get closer each day in a great and lovely way! Feels good, feels great!

Well, I think that's it by now, but still much to say.....and show!!! So I'm gonna upload soon a blog with some pictures and nice comments! We're aaaaallllll crazy!!!!!!!

Hehe,

goodnight!

xXx
Mary

Easter

Happy Easter everyone!

Here I am for a short blog of the day.

It was a very long one! I got up early this morning to hurry up and doing some things I need to do before leaving to go at my uncle's for lunch (all family was going to have lunch there) and I needed to fix some things for Monday Easter.
It's gonna be crazy with my friends and we gonna have some fun for sure!
Today it was a nice day (up till now). I love my family and we're a lot!!!! So its always messy and loud and there's lotta food and lotta kids around. We ate, chatted, played cards and enjoyed some time!

Now in bit I'm gonna leave to go to my friend, Steph and I'll have a sleepover there. I have everything packed (I had to do everything this morning and since I wont be back home anymore by this week, I had to take everything even for school and so on) and looks like I'm leaving for a looooong vacation....but it's just I'm going at my friend and then later to my uni flat!

Was a good day! And now I'm just writing the all of this while my uncles and aunties are watching me and asking me questions and saying silly things to me *lol* they're making me laugh!
Crazy family!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Now i'm gonna go off! Once again I'm in hurry today...pfff..... I can't wait to relax and rest and enojy some crazy girls' time!!!!!!!!!!!!

April Fool's Day

And here it is: April Fool's Day!

Another month went by and a new one is here, and it begins with this funny thing of Fool's Day! So Happy Fool's Day everyone!

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning I got a text from my best friend, she told me something nice and I was like, "oh really??? That's lovely", but eventually she told me she had just fooled me and I was her first (and maybe only?) victim of this Fool's Day!
I got fooled, yep, can't deny that!

Today holidays have started as well. I can try to take some rest now.
It was a real normal day... but it made me understand once again how much I miss being with my friends, my gals, just having fun, making noise and messing around while having all of those classes!
We always have to work hard and we spend around 8 hours daily just being at university, having classes, listening to those boring teachers, having little time to take a break or do anything else than studying and writing! But at least we're all together and that's the best part out of being a student and having that tight timetable.
I love have them around because we do laugh our heart out and enjoy each other company, so we may get tired but in the end of th e day when I think back of what we said, what we chatted about, what we did, the way we sang all together in the street and played silly games, then it just feels like it was a beautiful day!

And then I have this day off my usual routine and what do I get? That no matter what, I just love being with them and that is waaaaay better to just being at uni aaaaaaaalllll day instead of being home alone doing nothing, but thinking and getting bored!

Thanks to each of you, girls, thanks for always being there for me!
Thanks to Steph, my twin in soul, to Chris for being always that crazy and fun, to Fede for being there for me whenever I need it even by being so quiet, to Chiara for supporting me in all of those crazy ideas coming into my mind!

Who needs all the rest when you have good friends around you? No love, no money, no time... just good friends and you can feel on top of the world! (trust me... it's true!)

Mary,
XxX