Memories

In the last few weeks I've got loads of memories coming back...

I've remembered of when I was a kid, playing in different ways, enjoying sports, being a real tomboy, running from one place to another, doing silly "chemistry experiment" by mixing dishes soap with shampoo and flavor, playing with my lovely Barbies dreaming of roaming around the world with their pink caravan...

I've missed my grandfather so much lately. Sometimes I regret the way I've treated him before he died, I've always loved him very much, but things kept me busy and just before he died sounded like I had no time for him, which makes me feel so bad now. I remember spending my afternoons and evenings with him when my parents were out or I had no school. In Fall/Winter we would spend time at home putting puzzles together, playing cards, drawing and talking about soccer and physics and nature and countryside and all those boys' stuff that granpa knew and that I wanted to learn. I know how to use a screw because of him and I know if a vegetable is good or not because of him and I've loved soccer for a good part of my life because of him. Now, when I'm home alone, I think of him and feel how much I miss him in this Fall days. He was such a curious person, always willing to learn and see, he was opened and sweet, stubborn as well... he used to call me his "kitten" and that made me feel always happy and spending time with him was a great hobby for me. I wonder sometimes what he'd say about me now, now that I'm 22, that I have a foreign boyfriend - again -, I've graduated and I'm moving abroad. At times I think he'd be curious and glad to learn more about things I do, other times, I really can't imagine what he would say about me and my life, but I wish I could hear his words and have his presence to keep me company when I'm all alone...

Everything sounded easier when I was a kid and I was waiting to grow up to break free. I remember learning about geography to be able to travel, I remember learning English because I wanted to learn about music and become a music journalist to interview my favorite (boy)bands back then, I remember dancing and singing for hours and hours, in the afternoon, after my homework, just to improve myself and to prove myself I could be on a stage, because my biggest dream was to be an artist and perform. Some of these things -maybe them all- have not changed and at times I feel like I could get everything I want just because I don't give up...
Other times anyway I remember thinking that was better to stop dancing, because my ex-boyfriend made me understand that I'm not one of those girls that can be a professional dancer, and I remember thinking, not so long ago, that maybe even singing was not really my thing. But even though I got these thoughts and got to these conclusions, I remember the joy I had in me when doing things like dancing and singing.
To be honest, I do remember I had a different type of joy, strength and peace of mind, and these are things I'm willing to get back, but the road seems long and hard and I'm working to find the right way to walk this walk, and all of these memories - probably soo random for you who are reading it - make me cry, yet give me a hint of how to feel better and happier...

Joy should be found in little things.. in those little things like daydreaming, making plans, drawing, playing cards, learning something with passion and no struggle - yeah, those things I've done my whole life and that I've suddenly decided to drop because time was changing, I was changing, I was growing. It's good to be a grown-up, but it's good to keep a childish part somewhere in us, because after all, that's what can give a serious feeling of freedom and happiness, of peace.
Making decisions is not easy, feeling pressure is all you get, but if to try to take it easier, to follow a passion, to do whatever the moment is bringing you, without really thinking what will may be, then decisions are not the worst thing ever! After all, just to give an example, I haven't decided to learn English, it was natural because I felt like doing it... and years after I feel more English than Italian.

In the latest weeks I haven't felt always that happy, almost never... and I still feel like everything is scaring me and I have no directions... memories seem to be a shelter then. But actually they were not a shelter, they caused me the blues and they brought me smiles, but mostly they made me remember feelings and emotions, those emotions which are natural and so important to cherish and use for present time and future. This may make no sense, but all I mean is... finding what made me feel good or bad, helped me to understand that right now I should avoid some things not to feel bad again and I should get back or chase some things to feel good again.

Ah well... Time to face present and the upcoming future again...
"Nostalgia isn't glamorous" Marilyn Monroe said... but I do believe that sometimes remembering where we come from and checking where we are now, will help us to have a brighter, lighter, better future. After all we are now what made us then.

Call Me Princess, BUT...

Lately I realize more and more that people, somehow, think I am a kind of princess... and by that I mean one of those girls in love with everything that's pink, afraid of getting dirty, with 'peace in the world' as their biggest dream, believing in something that is very similar to the perfect fairy-tale in no-matter-what we are talking about.
Well, the news is that I'm not like that.
Although somehow I am a princess... YES! 
I like being called 'princess' or even 'queen', but what I mentioned above is probably the wrong reason for calling me these names.
Which are the right reasons then?
My 'princess' or 'queen' style is for me a mere ironic metaphor of a part of my personality, something that is connected to my ego probably, to that part of me that enjoys ruling in a fun way and having a little bit of power over things. In this case I am a queen, yes -and damn I enjoy giving speeches (LOL) and wave in a royal way (ask my friends how crazy is that).
The 'princess' you may meet in me is the one that doesn't enjoy so much travelling with train and buses, so if I can choose to have a lift from here to there, I won't say no. But hey, it is not that I can't or I am not able to catch a train, it's just that sometimes I prefer not, because I'm kind of shitty with timetables and platforms, and trains make me feel a bit nervous when I don't know if I will be on time or not. But hell yeah, I got no problems if I have to hop on it and go somewhere, because I'm not a princess and I don't have a chariot. And I don't even want a chariot. This is an example to say that I may have a princess-style when thinking about some comfort for my ass. I do enjoy seeking some comforts, and it's not because of a status or anything, but it's just that sometimes things are already hard and life, so why should I make it even harder if sometimes I can change that by choosing some comforts?
Maybe I do look like a princess for being sensitive and prone to emotions... but then my name would be Ms. Emotional probably... That's all of me as well.
I could give many other example of what people think about me and this topic, but that's enough!
On the other hand, if I want to, I know how to be a spartan and I like to get dirty from time to time, but just when conditions are the way I like it. I used to be actually quite of a tomboy as a kid and also as I teen, I somewhat changed around 18, (yeah, that's also when I started using some make-up haha).


But if you're talking about believing in fairy-tales... nope, that's not me. Sorry. Fairy-tales do not exist and I'm not a candy-flossed girl believing that everything looks perfect or pink. So I'm not a princess. I just try to make things right, I just try, as I said, to enjoy things without making them any harder than they would be, and I'm a girl who likes being a girl. So I have no problems showing my girly, womanly side just because I am a young woman, so even when I have to ride or bike, or climb, or run, or doing sports, still I will enjoy a tight shirt around my body, a nicely brushed ponytail or plait, and I will try not to wear weird colors. But this just means I'm a young woman, not a princess, remember that.

Beside all... sometimes I do like to be treated like a princess, just for the sake of it... I know when I'm playing the 'queen' with my crazy girls, and I really love for example when my lovely boyfriend says 'Buongiorno principessa', or just calls me that, can't deny that it melts me everytime and I feel happy! That's my guilty pleasure probably...
So yeah,  call me a princess, BUT remember why I really am a princess ;) ... or find your own reason to that, but forget about a princess in a pink perfect world ;)

Thanks for reading,
much love,
your 'princess' (hihihihihi)
Ros

My first time Camping!

Even if I'm a little bit late (a week, to be precise) with telling this, last weekend, on the 30th of May, I had my first camping experience!

It all started with a bicycle tour; through Couchsurfing I had the chance to join this tour, which my boyfriend Geert was attending as well. At first I was not that sure I wanted to go along with this tour because of several reasons, but after my friend Dustin and Geertje insisted and this other friend, Giorgio said he was going to be happy about me being at the meeting, I thought it was not such a bad idea to just go. So I went to Decathlon, bought a couple of stuff (swimming suit, shorts, flip flops) just because I had nothing in my flat that was proper to swim or bike, and got ready for this adventure.

My boyfriend and Dustin left together in the early morning because they wanted to bike all the way to reach our destination, while me and other people were heading to the station to catch a train, reach another town and then start the tour. So at 9:25 I arrived at the station, and I was extremely happy to meet Giorgio there, who was sooo welcoming and said at least 2 or 3 times he was very happy that I was there to join the group. Greeted the others, put my bike in a truck and jumped on the train, which was very busy and feeling like New Delhi. I tried to talk and get to know the others better, which was not too easy in the beginning, though I realised that the all of them knew who I was because of Geert talking bout me in the previous tours. It was very nice.

Honestly when I got off the train the only thing I wanted to do was getting on the bike, don't know exactly why, but I felt that my patience was not there, probably because I wanted this journey to start. I'm not that fit anymore, I haven't been doing any sports in a while, I'm not a great biker, I'm not mad about the countryside, but I had -and still have- that kind of feeling that I want to taste freedom, the outdoor world, just moving and not being in the same place and eventually go back to teh sporty me that everybody knew and I guess that this was a chance like any other, maybe more special.

After 45minutes we finally got on the bikes and I decided I wanted to enjoy it, so I just had my own pace, and tried to talk with others, to get to know them, and I have to say that Sam was my new compagnion in the first hour of the trip. We went through different towns and biked all together. I enjoyed the sun, so hot, maybe even too hot, and I enjoyed just looking here and there and understanding my limits, how my body was working, how the bike could be a silent compagnion as well...

Our first stop was at a Botanic Garden; it was very nice and I was amazed by how many plants and flowers there are and how much nature can just be an artist! There were some animals as well, and they were all very cute! Usually I wouldn't really enjoy gardens, but this was a real nice one, and I enjoyed walking in it while sharing a word with others as well. We spent about a hour in there and after refreshing ourselves with some cool water from a fountain, we got back on our bikes. This time though the sun was getting tooooo hot for me, and we didn't stop to have a little lunch or anything, so it was harder for me to back and I felt weaker, which made me be the last one of the group... and I really wanted just to get to the next town where we were going to have a swim and get some rest! Luckily my boyfriend came to save me with some more water, an apple and some love to encourage me and stand close to me, so that I could make it to the end. I really aprpeciated his help, and even Nunzia's help, this other girl, so nice and helpful.

After a few more kilometres and some steeps up and down, we got to Castro, on the coast, where we headed on the rocks leading us to the sea... The sea, yes, looking so blue, deep, lovely; just a few waves and a nice sun. We dived, though the water was actually cold, and had a swim, then laid to sunbath and relax. Once again I had a real good time with Geert, who was looking like a happy kid playing games or eating his favourite sweets. He was extremely gorgeous. And we had a good time. After biting on a sandwhich, he told me he wanted to go swimming again, while others wanted to try kayaking. Now. I really wanted to try some kayaking, but then I thought it was okay not to do it and just wait sitting in the sun, but then Giorgio told me he needed a partner for the kayak and since I was sooo curious and after all really wanted to do it, I just said yes and the only thing I know is that after 15 minutes I was actually doing some kayaking, having a lot of fun! I laughed alot, worked a lot to learn how to do it and enjoyed the waves, thinking how cool it was actually and I really think is one of the greatest sports to do to have some fun and also to be fit, because damnit, you really have to work hard with all your body if you want to make it right! It was a great fun with Giorgio on the kayak and with Dustin and Geert just swimming around us and Geertje jumping on the boat to kiss me, hehe. After 40 minutes I couldn't stop laughin and I was feeling very happy!

It didn't take long though to leave this lovely place, because we needed to head to the final destination. This was a hard hard part for me, because with all these ups and downs, it was not too easy to bike, and in the final part of the trip, after another little break to eat something, me and Geert got left behind - I don't like to slow him down, but as I'm not a good biker yet, hilly roads are not the best ones for me - and after even getting lost, we finally made it to the place, a kind of pinewood, just on a little hill, from which you could see the sea. Others were already fixing their tents and we did the same.

The only thing I could think of was "wow, I made it. 42kms. I made it". I really couldn't believe it, but that was it! But I really wanted to rest, eat, sit... and the group got downhill again to watch the Champions League match and eat something. Around midnight, after a slice of pizza, some chatting and singing, I wanted to go back to the "basecamp" and get some sleep... it took long to convince someone to drive us up again, but we made it... and that's when this new adventure of camping started.

All I can say is that it was not as bad as I thought! It was nice to be cuddled up in the tent. It was nice to feel somehow "not-so-outside", still safe and warm, and sleeping on the ground is not a bad bad thing.

The next day I was feeling very tired though and after a bad experience with a big spider and just being in the countryside discovering I have a kind of insects/bugs-fobia, I thought it was better for me not to go on with hiking and being just in the countryide walking, sitting, eating. It was not a great moment... I felt a bit ashamed, and even hurt, if you know what I mean. I felt like I was failing in my "mission".

Me and Geert got back to the headquarter after a nice lunch, rested, and went back to the sea, to enjoy the lovely amazing place we had close to us. It was very nice to swim! The was was first not soo deep, then we swam under a cave that led us to the open water, and wow! Even if I couldn't really swim for long because of my short breathe, I thought it was amazing to just have the chance to do it and once again I felt very proud of my little achievement, even though that costed me some bruises and some bleeding. The sun was still lovely and we tanned even more and while the sun was starting to go down, we got back to the camp.

Some people left, some other attended an event and some others, like us, stayed there reading and chatting, and I had the chance to talk with Enrico, who is a nice fun guy to hang around with. And it's incredible how easy can be to talk about nothing and everything with someone you've just met... this always makes me think. It's a good feeling though to learn about others and from others. Always a good lesson for life.

After a nice dinner with the few left in the camp, we went to bed... I mean, we went sleeping in the tent! and once again it was fun for me, despite the rain during the night. And the next morning Geert woke me up to see the sunrise. It was nice to take a walk to the sea and sit on a rock just waiting for the sun... such a shame there were some clouds... but still it was a little bit special, and felt like a moment of empathy with nature and everything surrounding me. Good for sure.

And this led us to a new day and to the station... from which we caught our train to go back to our place and out end to the weekend and this adventure.

I'm sure that words cannot totally express everything I felt and tasted and lived in those two days and a half. It was not awlays easy, but I have good memories. On Monday I was feeling hyper, excited for what I had done and still I had in my nose every smell of the countryside, the sea, the grass, the fields, and my hands and my arms and my legs were still feeling all that work out, and feeling proud of the achievement, and my body could still feel the sun on my skin, the sea washing me, te cool water on my hair, the sweat from all that sports and my mind, even after those bad moments when thinking "ah, this is not good for me", or "damnit, I'm no good for doing it", or also "I so dislike this countryside", was still feeling good, free, happy about this new experience that after all didn't make me lose anything but enriched me at least on some things. And these things are those which I won't forget those easily, because they are more like lessons, not object and not only memories... but lessons; a process of learning how to have trust and confidence, how to believe in what your body & mind can make together, how to feel even more free by doing little things and how to appreciate these kind of journeys, really not caring about where to go, or what do to, but only bout how to do it or who doing it with, because that's what makes every journey so different and new from any other old journey.

Love,

Mary
xXx

"Sorry" to the people I love

The last 3 or 4 weeks have been crazy for me. A lot of emotions going up and down and making me feel I was just losing some things and gaining some others, but totally losing my focus.

I've been sleeping bad -or not sleeping at all-, I've been eating little in some moments and too much in others, I've been crying easily, I've been laughing little, I've been upset, sad, worried, stressed.

I started then to feel a lot of pressure from things that are part of my daily life and part of the things I need to achieve in the upcoming months. Not everything is really going the way I want it and all I need is a little bit of... vacation! Freedom to enjoy the things I like, to do what I love, to do what I want. And I won't be one of those people having nothing to do and complaining, because I perfectly know I've been giving a lot and now I do need to take some time for myself. I realised that being away from pressure and all these things I don't really feel I want to do, makes me a better young woman. Just because actually I'm less stressed and worried in general.

So I thought I need to get over this time to then feel free and maybe travel along with a couple of people I love... I wouldn't mind staying bit here and bit there just to find what fits me and just to taste a bit of that chilling feeling that I cannot really cherish at the moment. But that's something you all know.

The reason I'm writing this now is that actually I realised that all this stress, all this pain, all this angst is just making me act like a real bitch to the people who are very close to me.

My girls are always there for me and lately I feel I'm just not being there for them like I was there for them last few months; though we all know that's a critic moment, I think I should try to take much care of you girls again...

And I even had a huge mess going on with my lovely Steph, could you believe it? We both know that it was because of a massive misunderstanding, but I mean, that all was also part of stress and of freak-out moments! And of not talking.

Lesson Learned No.1 : Communication is one of the most important things ever. I even talk to much, but sometimes the communication just doesn't work. So better focus on the thing we want to express and express it in a few good words.

So my first Sorry goes to the girls and to my lovely moonshine Steph. A girls' day won't make it up, but it'll be a good way to erase bad things and feel more.... "rock and roll", the way we love it.

I had some time to think over and over the last few weeks and even today I realised how bad this attitude is for me, myself and for the things I think, I do, I say... the way I say things, the way I act... and for people around me, once again. And I perfectly know I've been messing things up with my so-cuddly boyfriend, Geertje. All of this stress is just putting me in a moment of "easy snapping"; my quick-temper is coming out more and more on stupid things, and that's a real silly thing to do, especially because I cannot fight with such a sweetie and then I look at him and I feel al bubbly... and that freaky feeling goes away, but still the damage of me talking too much or yelling is done... so....?

So then my Sorry goes out to him. Knowing I'll try my best from this new upcoming week on not to stress. And maybe 10 days of meditation is way too much, but what about just 1 or 2 for us to share? Or I'd be even happy with a relaxing day out with him -yes, with you my Geertje- or just a day off that we can enjoy by relaxing. I know you can help me.

Lesson Learned No.1: Think better before speaking and focus on what's worthy and what's not worthy. And especially, learn when yelling, discussing, arguin, is actually.... needed, and when it's really useless, because it's just causing more stress.

This said... well, I was just a real bitch in some moments... in some others I was only miserable... in some others I was just terrible... and the last 3 panic attacks I had said it all. And my heart beating to a double speed... wow.... I really need to sit back.

So people, if I'm saying Sorry, is just because I truly mean it. So I hope you can understand, still stand beside me, while I'll try my best to get rid of all of this negative energy and be the smiley, sweet person you know.

Thanks y'all for all you do

and I send you much love,

Ros,

xXx

Week No. 12 - 2011

So folks,

Today's Saturday, the 26th of March, which means another week is going to an end.
This is week number 12 of t2011... (and wow I can't believe it's just 3 months since the New Year's Day) and for me this was an interesting week that I want to share with you.

My story will start from last Saturday (I perfectly know that is part of week 11), so there will be enough to tell; let's get it started.

Sat. 19th

I was supposed to have an English class in the morning, but I skipped it (shhhhh), I was toooooo tired and on a Saturday it's not that easy to get up and show up to a class. However, I knew I had something to do as well: going to a little village with my boyfriend to check out a second-hand Yamaha keyboard he wanted to buy. So after a nice wake up and a little breakfast, we checked the bus times, called up the guy who was selling the instrument and made an appointment. The bus was leaving from somewhere far on the other side of the city, so we took the bike to get there and then found the right bus. We sat and I noticed that it was the time for high-school kids to go back home, so I felt a little bit old compared to them, but I was also amused by their behaviour, even though it wad quite loud!

We left perfectly on time and after a few minute of our ride, I turned my head and noticed a big drawing representing Jim Morrison and its owner was next to it.

"Is that yours?" I asked

"It is" he replied

"Did you do it?"

"Yes"

"You're very good!"

"Thanks"

And we started talking. A 16-year-old boy, dark browned hair, with a Jim Morrison hairstyle, a little young beard, dressed in a big hoodie and jeans, slim, not too tall. His eyes were dark and filled up with witty looks.

I asked him which school he attended, even if I already knew the answer, and we started chatting about his life in art school. He wanted to show me his other drawings and he told me he loved Jim Morrison. That was clear to me, but when he started talking it was just clearer that Jim is a kind of inspiration to him and it's impressive that such a young boy knows so much about a music legend who lived decades before. The conversation went on and on and I was amazed by him. Just 16 and sooo full of himself, in a positive way though, so full of ideas, perfect plans for his future, dreams, and he was eager to achieve his goals. It's not easy to find such a younf boy who knows exactly what he wants. And still he doesn't care about what other people say about him. He doesn't follow others, he doesn't like to be part of a mass, he likes to just listen to himself (and Jim) and he's happy, perfectly happy with this life. So positive, such a great ego, and such a determined guy. Someone you defenitely want to meet. Intelligent, smart, honest.

Actually he put me in a good mood and he gave me somehow hope and he reminded me a little bit of myself at his age... it's always good to talk with someone who can understand you. And that's also what he told me in the end of our conversation. And I thought it's nice to see that there are still this type of people around, we can have a better hope for future, when this generation will take the world over.

However, we got off the bus, and I was quite smiling and excited to share the day with my Geertje and I couldn't wait to see the piano. We didn't have to wait that long! After a few minutes the guy showed up with his friend and took us to his house, where we saw the keyboard. I really liked the keyboard and I thought Geert was quite happy about it as well. Our visit lasted about 15 minutes, then this kind guy took us back to the centre of the village, to have a coffee together. I was happy to see that my boyfriend could speak a little bit about biking and bikers with the cafe owner and after a coffee and a little pastry, they sat together to watch a bike tour. Then we went for a little round of the village and we sat on a bench just talking and discussing about the keyboard and the deal. Time was flying, and as soon as I watched the time, we were on our way to catch again the bus to go back home.

Once back we went for a walk, some shopping, and then we went home for a nice evening together, just chilling and having some nice time together.

I love this kind of days, where you can do something nice, different from the same old routine, you can relax, enjoy your time and just feel good about everything.

Sun. 20th

Sunday. I like Sundays at home. It's always a good way to relax. But I also like to have Sundays with family. That tradition of a nice lunch, together, chatting, discussing about the past and the upcoming week, sharing some time after lunch... So I was really happy to go to my uncle and have a nice lunch and a good time with him and his family. So me and Geert visited them (a little bit later than planned, but perfectly on time for lunchtime) and I have to say that they welcomed us in a lovely, familiar way -and I love the way they treat my sweet bf, they're happy about him and I'm happy they like him- and I have to admit that our lunch was great! My aunt can really cook! Yummy!!!!! My uncle left after lunch to go and watch a soccer match with some friends, and so I thought we could have some time playing Nintendo Wii with the kids. That game is just bananas! LOL At times I feel silly, other times I feel like a kid, other times feels like I'm at a gym session LOL Anyway I had some fun with Geert and the kids, and those games are not as simple as Ithought hihihi. I had a good time watching Geert playing with my little cousin Nicolò, such a sweet thing!!!

However, around 5.30pm or so we left and went back home. I was feeling a little bit weird actually: sneezing, nose running, and something with my throat was not okay. Guess what? After having a nice tomato soup I discovered I had a cold! Which was not such a good sign... I thought though a good sleeping could fix me... it didn't!

Mon. 21st/Tue. 22nd/Wed. 23rd

...I woke up in the morning and I had fever. Ya-hoo.... a great beginning for a flu. I have to say that I thought I could just get up and go to classes in the afternoon, but things got worse! So I spent Monday actually in bed. I tried to work on some things, but with no great result.

My Geertje was very sweet in taking care of me since the first moment. I felt very bad and he was there to help me with everything I needed and he even snuggled me. He went ou shopping for me, cooked for me, gave me his PC to work, his guitar to play some music, he kept me company, he cuddled up with me and he was just the greatest nurse I could have!!!

We watched a couple of movies. We loved to watch "Commissario Montalbano" and then "Music & Lyrics" (which is really one of my fave ever) and "Johnny Stecchino", this funny Italian movie I can never get enough of!

I'm quite proud of myself because I've been able to play my very first song on the guitar, which was "What's Up?" by 4 Non-Blondes. A easy one, but a song that I like a lot and I wanted to learn as first one.

I could finally work again on my rnb-lovers.com site and I could work out the radio show in a easy, funny way.

I also took this time to work on some translations and to observe things from another point of view.

I even had the chance that I could make some "anthropological studies"... yes... I'm talking about Geert's flatmates... how terrible some guys can be. There are different type of young men, and I think I can divide them in 3 groups. We have the "I-Know-Better-Ones" - this category is the one including those guys who think or say they can do everything and then after all they can't take of the most simple things, but they're just sooo cocky and so full of themselves that they can only see what they do and they think they do it in a great way. Once you start to talk to them, you realise they can be either fragile and weak or just empty or hiding themselves behind superficiality pretending they're strong and happy; then we have the "I-Have-No-Direction-Ones" and this category is very easy to describe: they're just part of the mass, they do things and like things everybody do and like and they're basically kids, so they have no directions and others have to speak for them, stand up for them or even take care of them like they cannot really do anything smart on their own, but swearing, smoking, getting drunk, playing PlayStation; the last category is the "Down-On-Earth-People"... what can I say? Luckily there are still some young guys who can be just normal, nice, who know how to be a man and who just live their life without being annoying and being part of a category, because they just to whatever they feel like in a real natural, spontaneous, smart, wise way.

I don't want to sound any cocky by talking about these categories, but unfortunately I'm a girl and I like to watch people as they pass by and during these last few days I had he chance to see the difference between Geert and his flatmates, who are 3 guys that perfectly fit in the first two categories I listed. I do hope once they'll grow up and that they'll learn something more about life and mostly about respect for themselves and others, because lack of respect is really what makes them terrible! Nothing more... no judging.

On wednesday we had dinner with a lady, around 50, half French, half British, who came for dinner since she had just arrived in the city. She needed company, she needed to talk and she wanted to give something, I had that feeling, but she was in a little confusional state, so she couldn't really do what she wanted to. She had to work here, but the next day we discovered she had to leave again because they thought she was no good for the job. It was nice to have her over and I felt she needed just a familiar moment and we were there for her, trying to listen and chatting... but it was not an easy moment! However I was glad to cook for her and be able to meet her, even if for a short moment.

Thu. 24th

Finally I was feeling better and I thought it was a good idea to go out for a little walk, especially because I needed some fresh air to breath. So in the afternoon me and Geert went out for a little walk. The weather was lovely! Sunny, a fresh breeze, and it felt like the perfect moment to be outside, going through the historic centre of the city, taking a lovely good sweet ice-cream and then sit somewhere to enjoy some sun.

The walk was not that long, unfortunately I was feeling very weak and still a little bit sick.

On our way back home we stopped by a bike's shop and I enjoyed watching all those tools and stuff (and I realised they can be expensive!) and then me and Geert had little jokes in the street and he wanted to throw me in a garbage bin LOL how nice of him! We even stopped to a travel agency and got some info about going on a cruise... how nice that can be! Though it is very expensive, yes. Well, once I hope I can hop on it and go for a nice cruise somewhere! Hehehehe.

Fri. 25th

Getting back to normal life. Yesterday I got back to my hometown to visit the doctor. While I was in the bus I had a little moment of "bad thinking", as I like to call it.... which is not dangrous for others hehe... it's just a way of saying that I got a little bit negative. I was thinking bout university and my thesis and I realised I have no idea of what to do and time is going fast and I think I need to do something about it, but still I feel empty in my mind. What to do? I'll just have to try to focus as much as I can!

When I got back, I met my friend Steph and Geert and me and my girl helped Geert with the keyboard, that finally was brought to his house by that guy selling it! It was nice to have some jam session, just trying to sing and play together. And after that we had a moment of chatting, in front a nice hot cup of tea and a cake. I like talking with these folks and it's always good for me to have some good quality time with them.

In the evening we planned to go all together to a CouchSurfing meeting... wow, I thought we were going to be back home not too late... guess what?! We got back at 4am!!! But it was a nice evening after all. On a moment I was not really that good, I felt somehow sick and very tired, somehow annoyed and bores. Then Steph and I got to chat with Mark, Raf and some other foreign people and it was ok... It was not the greatest evening ever for me, don't ask why, but however I was glad with the evening and I had a few good laughs and when we got home I was very tired, but I was feeling.... hmm.... how can I say... well, just okay as in I had had an evening I couldn't really describe as bad or great, but just a fine night (I know this all doesn't make much sense LOL, just let me get my angst moment for once in a while hihihihi).

And I loved the way we slept actually... really sweet and special... tho they were just a few hours of nice sleeping!

Sat. 26th

So here we are... my week going to an end....

what can I say? It was a full yet empty week. I did much and I did nothing. One thing was clear... that I realised that I can enjoy much more life without university and this leads me to this kind of "I need to be done as soon as possible and I'm desperate I have to start again on Monday and still I have no ideas to work a thesis out".

Today I just tried to take it easy. I got back to my hometown and after lunch I tried to take some time for me, just watching TV. Then I went out to get done some things I needed to do and then I was mostly bored. LOL. Lazy yet bored, yes. That's always the case!

And so I decided to work, think, and write... write this long boring story you're reading now. Hehehehe.

And tomorrow's another day and the last day of this week 12. I can tell you it'll be another chilling lazy day before going back to a "full-activity-week" with the upcoming week 13. =)

So thanks for reading and let's hope that the next weekwe'll bring me new lessons to learn.

Love,

Mary

xXx

Fran Healy Concert - Rome

So folks,

here we go after a long time! And this time I have a real good story to tell; yep yep, me and my lovely girl, Steph, went to Rome this week to see Fran Healy in concert!!!

It was great!

So we left for Rome on Tuesday the 22nd. Our flight, a Ryanair flight, was going to leave at 17.55 and we planned to be at the airport at 16.30, but as always, I was late... so half hour later than scheduled I was there while Steph was waiting in the car. We met and after wasting 10 minutes fooling around and saying already silly things, we thought we had to go through security check.

So we said bye to our fathers, who were there with us, and went through the security checks. After 20 minutes together we were already laughing and having the usual fun we have when going through these kind of things like travelling and being at airport.

We walked to the airplane after cueing and we tried to understand where to sit... we actually found out that places were not booked, so we could sit wherever we wanted, but after all we sat in the back of the plane: in our last few flights we were alw

ays sitting in the back, so why changing that tradition?

I won't be bothering you with too many details, but I can tell you we spent the whole flight chatting, disturbing others. This time we even had the chance to learn assistants' names and to "fool around" with them; they were Orazio - the metrosexual one, Alessio - the Chris Martin alike, Chiara - the red headed Irish looking woman, Liam - the British one. Liam was the nicest one with us, just playing bit with us everytime he was passing by our seats, Alessio was the coolest one and we really had to tell him he looked like Chris Martin, so we were getting off the plane...

Me: "you look a bit like Chris Martin..."

Alessio: "Who is that?!"
Steph: "I can't believe it!!! It's the singer from Coldplay!"
Alessio: "ahhh, I see"
Chiara: "Oh no, no way! You really need glasses, cuz I think you can't see that good! He doesn't look like Chris Martin!"
Steph & Me: "A bit, we said a bit"
Steph: "Just somehow the shape of his face!"

Chiara: "no way, no way..."

LOL we went off the plane and we were quite early. So we had to take a bus to get to Rome, we booked online, but we checked if we could get on the bus before the one we booked for, and luckily at 19.20 we were on our way to Rome Termini station.

Alessandro, Steph's friend and the guy having us in his house, was going to meet us at the station to go then to his house. So we arrived, waited 10 minutes and then he arrived and greeted us. After 15 minutes on a bus, we were there. His house is on Via Eritrea, no. 65. He lives in a basement, a small one, but lovely and very warm, cozy and welcoming. His flatmates are 3 other guys, all coming from towns around Lecce and they keep the house incredibly cleaned and tidy. 2 of them were not there in Rome, so when we got home there was just Andrea, this guy looking very mediterranean and somehow Spanish but with a touch of egyptian colors. His style is okay, not really our kind, but he is a good funny guy, a musician, a creator, since he studies to be a director and he welcomed us in a nice way.Alessandro set his other flatmate's room for us; the room was amazing. This guy is an artist so there were paintings made by him everywhere on the walls, and every inch of the room had a detail or a little something that he created and that made that corner special and unique. We loved the room and we spent 15 minutes just looking around and taking pictures when we got there.

We were happy with our new room and we were hungry as well. So Alessandro cooked for us a lovely dinner. Pasta with tomato sauce with sausages in it: lovely!

Alessandro... I have to say a few words about him. Defenetely a great guy, very sweet, serious, tidy, clean, nice, and welcoming. I didn't know him, but I was happy to meet him. He's the real kind of "good guy" and boy next door everyone wants to meet. He acted like of an old brother and he took care of everything, making his schedule fitting with ours, even if he had to study and he was simply amazing with us.

After dinner we went out for a walk through Rome with Alessandro and Andrea. It was nice to walk, to enjoy Rome by night, with no many turists and people around in the streets and the city was quiet and just walking and chatting was a relaxing way of starting this trip. I think that both Steph & me loved to be on the Pincio, just looking at the whole city from one of the highest spots in Rome: lovely and stunning somehow!

When we got back home we were ready to get in bed and get some rest... we were planning already what to do next day and we wanted to get up on time and go around...

23rd February - day of the gig!

...but we woke up and got up late, so we decided to just go for a walk around Ale's house and we ended up (following Alessandro's advice) in front of Villa Ada, which is a lovely big park, full of fields, trees and little lakes. So we got in and had a little walk down a hill, taking pictures of new-born daisies in the fields, reaching a big open space with some benches, and we sat on one, taking silly photos, enjoying a bit of the sun and just looking around.

Half hour later we were back home and we had another good meal (pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs), that made us feel full and happy. Steph brought Alessandro some great cookies baked by her mother and I have to say that having them with a nice tea after lunch was something that made me happy =)

In the afternoon was again we wanted to go for a walk, and we were planning to go and check out a shop in the heart of Rome, where you can buy tea and these kind of things in a nice little shop that a friend from Ale told us, but after my radio show we had a little "power nap" and when we woke up, after checking online some things, we realised it was not possible to go back and forth from home to city center and still being on time to wash, change and be ready for the gig.

So we decided to just stay around, walk, relax... we got in a book shop and checked around, then had a long walk chatting, we stopped buying some important things aka gummy bears and Smarties and then we got back home, already excited and in hurry to get ready for the concert.

Alessandro was studying with his friend, so we got ready and then we had to wait for him; looked like his friend didn't want to leave. So we planned to leave at 19.30 or 19.45 to go to the place, but just almost after hour later than planned we were out of the house and dealing with buses it's not always easy. To me looked like the trip was neverending and I was really afraid that we were going to be late and be late when the gig was about beginning. Luckily we made it and at 21:00 we were at the place, took our tickets (we've had already booked them) and got in. Not too many people were there when we arrived, but still it was early and we got the chance to be in the second row, which made us very happy, hehe.

We knew that there was going to be an open act, a duo from

somewhere near Rome, called Sprained Cookies and we were not really in the mood to listen to them, because we knew it was not going to be that nice for us. But when we saw a young boy coming on stage we were very surprised and wondered who he was. It didn't take long to get to know it. He had a guitar, a Mac computer and he stood in front of the mic, then in a shy way said: "Errr... helo everyone! My name is Foley!" ... and the crowd (yes, the room got full) was just quite, till someone said "Hi Foley!" and so he went on speaking in a funny nice italian with an American accent and he told us bit bout him and told us he was going to perform few of his songs.

We were happy that the supporting act was him and not Sprained Cookies and after he started playing, we were even happier that he was there: so young and so good. We loved him and we were just getting in the perfect mood for listening then to Fran.

After half hour and about 5 songs, Foley left the stage and the crowd was just clapping for him, showing some good love and appreciation and even showing that the excitement for Fran was growing... but then.... but then... Sprained Cookies got on stage. This girl, the singer, arrived with a beer in her hand and we could tell she was already drunk anyway -.- not something you want to see and especially not something you want to listen to when you go to an acoustic Fran Healy gig. They were terrible! Let's say the guitar-line of each song was not that bad, but her voice and

her way of being on stage... oh my god, what a weirdo!!! We couldn't really stand it and we just wanted them to go off stage; people were not really happy and just a few were clapping. After half hour they said bye and finally went away.

So the time for Fran to be on stage was finally coming!!!!!!!! He got on stage with such a natural feeling, not anything lookig like a star getting on stage or whatever... so ordinary and easy-going... lovely! We were screaming like hell and I bet I've never seen such a big smile on Steph's face!

He said hello, talked a bit with the crowd and then started straight away with the first song, which was "20", the first song ever he wrote. And song after song we dreamed away... He played songs from his new album, and a couple of old ones, and after about 1 hour and 15 or so, he stopped and said he was going to play songs we were going to request.

Here's the setlist:

1. 20

2. Holiday

3. Writing To Reach You

4. Anything

5. As You Are

6. Fly On The Ointment

7. Side

8. As It Comes

9. Sing

10. Buttercups

11. Last Train

12. Moonshine

13. Sierra Leone

Encore:

14. Tied To The 90's

15. Before You Were Young

16. Driftwood

17. Love Will Come Through

18. Baby One More Time (Britney's cover)

19. Flowers In The Window

20. Closer

21. All I Wanna Do Is Rock

22. Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

People, it's quite hard to describe the feeling we and I got throughout the whole concert. All I can tell you is that Fran had a story for every song, which made it somehow more special then to hear to that track just played live from him and of course he's a great guitarist! That's for sure! A

string went off his guitar, he went on playing and then he tried playing with a 12-strings guitar, and after 2 minutes he stopped and said, "no sorry, I cannot do it, this is shit, just give me a minute to change that string on my guitar!", hehehe, and he did! He was just sooooo cute! And during the last song... another string broke, hahaha, poor Fran!!! I loved every song and Steph was screaming out loud singing! I took million pictures and made a few videos...I had a lot of fun and had a little emotional moment on Closer, which is a song I really like. I screamed at him I wanted to hear My Eyes, but my voice probably was covered by other people and I was bit disappointed he didn't play that one, because it's one of my favourites for real!

However... the show ended, after 2 hours, because he said he was a little bit tired with his hand because of the guitar. Someone screamed "Fran, stay with us to take photos!!!", he didn't reply but just smiled. We thought then he wasn't going to stop with us, but after thanking everyone, he got on his knees and then sat down to sign tickets, albums and whatever... but after 10 minutes, when finally me and Steph were getting closer to him, someone from the staff told him he had to get off stage... so he said, "okay okay, I have to go, but I'll meet you all backstage!" ... People, he did!!!!!!!!!! We all went backstage and he was soooo nice to be there! We got closer, I handed him Steph's album and he signed it, then I asked him if we could take a picture and he took the camera from my hand and took the picture himself!!!

Then Steph said we had something from him and handed him the drawing she did for him. He took it and said he loved it and signed the two copies we had for us! And of course then I said, "can we also get a kiss?", he said: "of course!" and we even got a little hug and our kisses! Lovely, kind, easy-going, on earth guy!

We got out of there and we were feeling crazy, hyper, very happy! All smiles and songs and just keeping our papers, cameras and the album tight!

A taxi took us home and we couldn't stop thinking over and talking about the whole show! And getting in bed was easy because we were tired, but sleeping was harder, because we were still excited about the evening!

24th February

The next day we packed everything, went to university with Alessandro and then after a quick stroll through Villa Borghese, we reached Piazza del Popolo and we had a walk after saying bye and thanking Ale, just checking bit around and enjoying our time before leaving. And after a bite, we got on the metro and to the station. We spent some time trying to look for the place to take our bus tickets for the airport (we were lost!) and after maybe a hour I think, we finally took some fruit, sat on a bench and waited for the bus, which was perfectly on time and we left for the airport.

When we got to Ciampino, we sat and spent time just singing and thinking of what to do, and that's where we met a 18 years old Columbian guy, Julian, who was all alone and bit bored, so started to chat with us and we gave him some tips to earn money while travelling since he was going to go around Europe but didn't have enoguh money! After that I realised I had to be on my show and I was late. So we ran to the check in and that's when Michele called me to be live and I won't tell you how funny it was to be live and go through the security check!

However, we waited and then got on the plane. We sat next to a guy that we already saw (and disturbed) in the bus taking us from the gate to the plane and he was very nice with us, he talked with us, we had a laugh and we discovered that he was from Lecce as well and that's where we saw him before.

We arrived in Brindisi just perfectly on time (even if we left late!) and after that, under the rain, we drove (or better my parents did) to Lecce, where we were planning to have a karaoke night. I forgot my keys and I couldn't even get in the house, but didn't matter after all, we found a way to go in....even if I was already stressing and I stressed out even more when we heard that there was no going to be any karaoke! But our night was not bad at all, since we ended up screaming and shouting to the moon doing karaoke at home with our computer! So funny... as always!

Our 48+12 hours on the run with music was going to finish soon, just on the next day, when finally we were going home and we were going to sleep in our beds, taking some rest and still smiling from all that crazy good time we went through!

So happy about this gig and Fran was simply amazing... and Steph was simply great as well!!! For sure words cannot express properly how good it as and how it felt to be at the show... but we'll keep all the emotions in our hearts! hehehehehe

Hope we can soon do it again!

Love,

your Music Gipsy Mary

xXx

"How To Make A Better World - Project": new section and page!

Hello folks!

I'm here to tell you about a new "home made" project I decided to start just to bring the all of us, from all around the world, closer!

For now this project will have its own page here on my personal blog, but when (and if) it's going to get big enough it will have its own blog-site.
The name of the project is "How To Make A Better World", and to get to know everything about it, all you need to do is to click here to get to the new section and read everything about this new idea!

Thanks alot!

Mary,
xXx